Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I apologize if my kid annoys you, but...

Ever been out somewhere, possibly somewhere child-centric such as a playground, and been approached by that kid? That kid who I'm referring to is probably between 4 and 8 years old and knows how to talk. He (Okay, let's not get into the pronoun thing here. I almost have three boys. This could easily be a girl. I'm using "he." Get over it.) knows how to talk and he wants to talk to you about everything. Forever. And ever.

Alexander is that kid.

Today at the playground, upon seeing that there were some folks there that we didn't know, he exclaimed, "Look, Mom! It looks like I am going to get to make new friends!" and promptly approached some potential targets. "Hi, I'm Alexander. What's your name?... What's the baby's name?... How old is his brother?... My little brother's name is Jack and my mom's name is Miss Beth and that guy over there is my PopPop.... I am a good climber like the baby.... It's always good to make new friends!"

I have to admit that I have sometimes been annoyed by that kid. I have wondered, "Geez, kid, are you so desperate for attention that you have to talk to strangers? Don't your parents ever talk to you? What makes me look like I want to come out of my shell and talk to you?" Obviously I would never say anything like that to that kid, and in fact have conducted quite a few uncomfortable (on my part) conversations with that kid. Often that kid is rather imaginative and actually tells some interesting stories. Alexander's one of those.

In any case, I am sorry if my kid annoys you. I empathize. It can be weird to be approached so openly by a complete stranger of any age, especially if you're "reserved" like me or downright shy. However, unless my child is actually being rude in any way, I don't intend to discourage this behavior. I want him to see the world as a friendly place. I think life is probably easier for outgoing people (and I think his almost painfully shy dad would agree). I love that Alexander's comfortable enough with himself to approach people and make new friends. He's learning to be an independent, self-assured, self-reliant little man. So again, I apologize to you (and the random target at the park today) if he makes you uncomfortable, but I just refuse to squelch his enthusiasm. You're an adult (I assume). If you want or need to end the conversation, use your words. I promise, if he doesn't get the hint, I'll step in.

[On the off-chance that someone is now concerned for Alexander's (or that kid's) safety, given that they're so comfortable talking to strangers, I can assure you that at least in Alexander's case, he is always well supervised. Also, based on too much true-crime TV, I'm pretty sure that child abducters don't want that kid. He's too fiesty.]

2 comments:

Kathryn said...

I can't agree with you more! It actually makes me quite proud when I see my Alex chatting with other adults. In fact the last time we were at Chuck E Cheese, he wandered off and I found him playing a video game with another mom! He was having a blast, and she didn't seem to mind, so I left him alone, then next thing I know he is running around with some girl like 2 years older than him, having a ball. To me, when they are that openly social it shows how comfortable they are with themselves. Now if I can see that he is being annoying or a little too clingy for some reason I will step in, but otherwise I let him at it and watch from a distance.

Tammy said...

Kyle's quite friendly too! Just shows they have confidence I think and as long as you're there to watch it all I think it's totally harmless. And like you said, if they don't like it they can always choose to walk away. I love how open and friendly kids can be -no fears or insecurities!