These are all just from today:
Alexander: Jack is a street rat. Jack is a blockhead.
Alexander: Mommy! Some poop just came out of my butt and went in the potty!
Alexander: I am a big boy. I know how to do everything.
Me: What vegetable should we have with dinner tonight?
Alexander: Tweetie Bird.
Me: Tweetie Bird is not a vegetable! Look in the freezer. Which vegetable should we have?